Self-esteem is a term we hear often and a subject spoken and written about.
I recently heard a minister talk about self esteem and I believe he brought some points out that just are not applicable to what he sees in the church but in society in general.
So that we are talking about the same thing I want to define the phrase self-esteem.
How about looking at 3 definitions: 1.
An overall evaluation or appraisal of person's own worth.
2.
Self esteem is a confidence in our ability to think, to cope with the basic challenges of life and confidence in our right to be successful and happy.
~Nathaniel Branden 3.
a confidence and satisfaction in oneself What makes it interesting? Self-esteem is interesting because people define it differently.
It is similar to the term "attitude".
You can have a positive one or a negative one.
Self-esteem is talked about in terms of good or low self-esteem.
Isn't it funny that we can say words that are opposite to describe the "attitude" of someone, yet in terms of the self-esteem we say "low" but not "high"? Another interesting thing about self-esteem is that we treat self-esteem as if it defines the whole person as opposed to a portion of their life.
I have known people that seem to have poor self-esteem around adults and were "Joe Conqueror" around kids.
I have also seen the opposite where it was around the children that there seem to be cracks in a person's thoughts about themselves.
Have you heard that when you have great self-esteem you are arrogant or that it is a sign of poor self-esteem? You get the point.
It can be subjective.
The only way you really know is by observing someone over time.
A person's self-esteem is indicated by a pattern of how they express thoughts about themselves.
So you have to watch or you may judge someone just for being a quiet confident person as having poor self-esteem.
Some Myths about Self-Esteem If you speak confidently you have great self-esteem.
Have you ever thought this is a way to cover low self-esteem? If you look down toward the ground consistently this is assumed as a sign of low self-esteem.
It could be, but before a conclusion is drawn consider they may look down to listen so that their visual perception does not interfere with what they are hearing.
If you stutter you have a poor self-esteem.
Well some of the worse stutterers are some of the most confident singers.
If you have a strong self-esteem people will follow you.
That depends on what day of the week it is.
Remember Jesus Christ? Not a good measure of self-esteem.
So what do we know? Many times self-esteem is expressed by your responses and reaction to others.
Do you relent from voicing your convictions when you are around certain people because you feel they may ridicule you? If so, you may need to build your self-esteem because right or wrong we all should be heard.
Do you avoid confrontation when you know someone is wrong and it is harmful? Is your response to just turn away or do you feel moved to speak up and do so? One of the truest signs of a good self-esteem is transparency.
This means what people see in you is truly who you are.
You are being the best you can.
Acknowledging your faults and yet recognizing you are just as deserving of experiencing life as the next person.
Yet you do not believe you are better than the next person.
You laugh at yourself.
You empathize with another.
You listen to the voice of wisdom and experience with respect to learn.
Yet you know your own contributions to the discussion.
You are going to be the best you can be at the present and seek to be more thereafter.
I will be writing next on how positive firmness in our life affects self-esteem.
I recently heard a minister talk about self esteem and I believe he brought some points out that just are not applicable to what he sees in the church but in society in general.
So that we are talking about the same thing I want to define the phrase self-esteem.
How about looking at 3 definitions: 1.
An overall evaluation or appraisal of person's own worth.
2.
Self esteem is a confidence in our ability to think, to cope with the basic challenges of life and confidence in our right to be successful and happy.
~Nathaniel Branden 3.
a confidence and satisfaction in oneself What makes it interesting? Self-esteem is interesting because people define it differently.
It is similar to the term "attitude".
You can have a positive one or a negative one.
Self-esteem is talked about in terms of good or low self-esteem.
Isn't it funny that we can say words that are opposite to describe the "attitude" of someone, yet in terms of the self-esteem we say "low" but not "high"? Another interesting thing about self-esteem is that we treat self-esteem as if it defines the whole person as opposed to a portion of their life.
I have known people that seem to have poor self-esteem around adults and were "Joe Conqueror" around kids.
I have also seen the opposite where it was around the children that there seem to be cracks in a person's thoughts about themselves.
Have you heard that when you have great self-esteem you are arrogant or that it is a sign of poor self-esteem? You get the point.
It can be subjective.
The only way you really know is by observing someone over time.
A person's self-esteem is indicated by a pattern of how they express thoughts about themselves.
So you have to watch or you may judge someone just for being a quiet confident person as having poor self-esteem.
Some Myths about Self-Esteem If you speak confidently you have great self-esteem.
Have you ever thought this is a way to cover low self-esteem? If you look down toward the ground consistently this is assumed as a sign of low self-esteem.
It could be, but before a conclusion is drawn consider they may look down to listen so that their visual perception does not interfere with what they are hearing.
If you stutter you have a poor self-esteem.
Well some of the worse stutterers are some of the most confident singers.
If you have a strong self-esteem people will follow you.
That depends on what day of the week it is.
Remember Jesus Christ? Not a good measure of self-esteem.
So what do we know? Many times self-esteem is expressed by your responses and reaction to others.
Do you relent from voicing your convictions when you are around certain people because you feel they may ridicule you? If so, you may need to build your self-esteem because right or wrong we all should be heard.
Do you avoid confrontation when you know someone is wrong and it is harmful? Is your response to just turn away or do you feel moved to speak up and do so? One of the truest signs of a good self-esteem is transparency.
This means what people see in you is truly who you are.
You are being the best you can.
Acknowledging your faults and yet recognizing you are just as deserving of experiencing life as the next person.
Yet you do not believe you are better than the next person.
You laugh at yourself.
You empathize with another.
You listen to the voice of wisdom and experience with respect to learn.
Yet you know your own contributions to the discussion.
You are going to be the best you can be at the present and seek to be more thereafter.
I will be writing next on how positive firmness in our life affects self-esteem.