Living with a college roommate -- most often someone you don't know -- can be one of the more stressful aspects of college. Whether you're a first-year student nervous about starting college or a senior who just wants to live with someone new, the situation always presents challenges. So what are the signs of a good college roommate? And how can you know if you are one yourself?
1. They don't take things without asking. Realistically, of course, it's likely that one or two times over the course of the academic year your roommate might be in a jam and use something without asking (e.g., your power cord or printer paper).
The difference, though, is that a good roommate will nearly always ask before helping themselves, whether it's to food, technology, clothes, or even space.
2. When and if they do ask to use things, they do so sparingly. Asking politely to use someone else's stuff is appreciated -- but if a roommate is constantly asking to use someone else's resources, those requests can get pretty old, pretty fast. It's one thing to help out a friend/roommate every once in a while; it's another to count on a roommate to get you out of a jam ... always.
3. They don't let their friends use or abuse your stuff while you're gone. Living with a roommate (or more than one roommate) often means that people will be in your living space when you're not around. This kind of situation requires a lot of trust, of course, and good roommates respect that trust.
4. They respect your privacy. Privacy, of course, means all kinds of things to all kinds of people in college -- and it can be hard to find. And because the definition can be fluid, it's important that roommates understand what the other needs.
One roommate, for example, might feel extremely uncomfortable with another roommate walking around naked; another might not care one bit. Both roommates have different levels of comfort around issues of privacy and personal space; even if those levels are different, they still need to be respected by everyone.
5. They treat you kindly. It takes more than just respecting space and things to make a good roommate. Good roommates are genuinely nice folks who make an effort to be kind and respectful. Does that mean a roommate has to always accommodate others' requests? Of course not. But it does mean that simple things -- like manners, saying "hello" and "goodbye," and being friendly -- are part of the deal.
6. They don't talk behind your back on social media. Good roommates don't post pictures of you sleeping, feeling sick, or acting ridiculous on social media accounts. They also don't post status updates about something you said (that they didn't like) or something that's going on in your personal life. Respect for your personal boundaries and privacy should extend into the social media sphere, too.
7. They address issues early. It's unrealistic to think that you can live with someone (or several someones) for an entire academic year and not run into a single conflict. Because of that, having good communication and conflict management skills is critical for any roommate situation. If a roommate lets things fester, is passive aggressive, or otherwise deals with conflict in an unhealthy and unproductive manner, it's probably a sign that living with that person will be a challenge.
8. You feel welcome when you come home. Sometimes, it's just an overall feeling to a roommate that makes them a good match. If you wince when you open up your door and you see your roommate there, that's probably a sign that things aren't going so well. But if you're glad that they're home when you're home, too, you very well may have found yourself a good -- if not great -- college roommate.
1. They don't take things without asking. Realistically, of course, it's likely that one or two times over the course of the academic year your roommate might be in a jam and use something without asking (e.g., your power cord or printer paper).
The difference, though, is that a good roommate will nearly always ask before helping themselves, whether it's to food, technology, clothes, or even space.
2. When and if they do ask to use things, they do so sparingly. Asking politely to use someone else's stuff is appreciated -- but if a roommate is constantly asking to use someone else's resources, those requests can get pretty old, pretty fast. It's one thing to help out a friend/roommate every once in a while; it's another to count on a roommate to get you out of a jam ... always.
3. They don't let their friends use or abuse your stuff while you're gone. Living with a roommate (or more than one roommate) often means that people will be in your living space when you're not around. This kind of situation requires a lot of trust, of course, and good roommates respect that trust.
4. They respect your privacy. Privacy, of course, means all kinds of things to all kinds of people in college -- and it can be hard to find. And because the definition can be fluid, it's important that roommates understand what the other needs.
One roommate, for example, might feel extremely uncomfortable with another roommate walking around naked; another might not care one bit. Both roommates have different levels of comfort around issues of privacy and personal space; even if those levels are different, they still need to be respected by everyone.
5. They treat you kindly. It takes more than just respecting space and things to make a good roommate. Good roommates are genuinely nice folks who make an effort to be kind and respectful. Does that mean a roommate has to always accommodate others' requests? Of course not. But it does mean that simple things -- like manners, saying "hello" and "goodbye," and being friendly -- are part of the deal.
6. They don't talk behind your back on social media. Good roommates don't post pictures of you sleeping, feeling sick, or acting ridiculous on social media accounts. They also don't post status updates about something you said (that they didn't like) or something that's going on in your personal life. Respect for your personal boundaries and privacy should extend into the social media sphere, too.
7. They address issues early. It's unrealistic to think that you can live with someone (or several someones) for an entire academic year and not run into a single conflict. Because of that, having good communication and conflict management skills is critical for any roommate situation. If a roommate lets things fester, is passive aggressive, or otherwise deals with conflict in an unhealthy and unproductive manner, it's probably a sign that living with that person will be a challenge.
8. You feel welcome when you come home. Sometimes, it's just an overall feeling to a roommate that makes them a good match. If you wince when you open up your door and you see your roommate there, that's probably a sign that things aren't going so well. But if you're glad that they're home when you're home, too, you very well may have found yourself a good -- if not great -- college roommate.