Before Christmas my grandsons, naturally, went on and on about what they wanted for Christmas and it was all video games.
"I want Assassins Creed 3.
" "I want Halo 4" "There's a new game out, Grandpa, it's called Mine Sweeper," Don said,"It's on the PC and it's only $29.
95.
" Now while I like video games as much as the next Grandpa, my favorite is World of Warcraft.
I bought an xBox 360 and some games for it off eBay, but I really don't like the controller and I found I could play any game up to a point.
For example I thought Red Dead Redemption was cool, and it was except for...
It was cool up to the point where I had to race Bonnie across country on my trusty steed and kept falling off my horse and getting lost.
I fell off my horse and got lost so many times that I decided I had better things to do (like play World of Warcraft) and went back to my PC.
The same thing happened with Skyrim.
I ended up in a small room that seemed to have no exit.
I wandered around in the room for several days, and never found any way of getting out, so I decided I had better things to do (like play World of Warcraft) and went back to my PC.
So, my encounters with the XBox have been quite unproductive.
But I don't want to give the impression that I do nothing but play video games:I actually read a lot.
I've always read a lot since I was a kid, starting with comic books and graduating to novels, mainly science fiction and a few westerns.
While not the Great Classics, I was still expanding my imagination and increasing my vocabulary (I think).
My wife, who was raised in a different environment where nothing came in the door except Classics (including comic books which were Classics Illustrated) never saw or touched the stuff I was reading.
But at least we were both reading.
Not so my grandchildren.
"I'll tell you what, Don," I said, becoming a bit weary about the endless talk of video games.
" I'll buy you a book.
We'll go into the bookstore and you pick it out.
What kind of books do you like.
" You could see the wheels spinning in Don's brain as he tried to absorb a new and entirely foreign thought.
"Oh.
"They continued to spin.
"Well, I like a book that's humorous.
And I don't like it to drag in the middle.
" A couple of days went by, Christmas came and went, and while Don was learning the new monk class in WOW on my computer in my den Sunday afternoon, I said, "Okay, Don, it's time to get your new book.
" He gave me a look somebody encountering Judgement Day and all the sins he had committed in his life.
He mumbled an "OK" and followed me out the door.
On the way to the used bookstore (all the new ones in our town have gone out of business), the conversation went something like this: "I'm worried that if I start it I won't be able to finish it.
" "Yeah, well you agreed that if I bought it you would read it all the way through.
" Silence.
"Yeah, but some books drag in the middle and I get bored and stop reading them.
" "Yeah, but you're going to pick one out that doesn't drag in the middle.
" Silence.
"Yeah, but what if I lose it?" "You aren't going to lose it.
" Silence.
I gave him a pep talk shout, sort of the ones athletic coaches use to get their teams fired up and in a winning frame of mind.
"But your going to read it!" I shouted.
"Repeat after me, I'm going to read it.
All the way through!"As I shouted I pounded the armrest between us.
Say it with me, "I'm going to read it!" Don hesitated, then said in a small voice.
"I'm going to read it.
" "NO!"I said.
"I'M GOING TO READ IT!"I pounded the armrest.
"I'M GOING TO READ IT!" he shouted.
I pulled into a parking space in front of the bookstore and we hopped out of the car.
Well, I should say, he hopped out of the car and I struggled out accompanied by a lot of joint creakingand verbal groaning.
The sign on the door of the bookstore said: "Closed on Sundays.
"We both stared at it, speechless.
I turned to Don, observing the decided look of relief in his eyes.
"Well," I said, "we could go to the library and check a book out.
"I could see immediately that idea wasn't going to fly.
"Yeah, Don said," but what if I lose it?What ifI lose it and then you'll have to pay to replace it and then I'll owe you money?" "Yeah," I said jokingly, "you'll have to wash my car for the rest of your life.
"I immediately saw that that joke was a mistake as the anxiety in his eyes increased.
Neither one of us thought this was a very good solution and merely added agony to the whole notion of Don actually reading a book.
So we went back home.
Where Don gleefully resumed his training as WOW monk in Pandaria, having experienced merciful reprieve from the terrible task of reading a book.
"I want Assassins Creed 3.
" "I want Halo 4" "There's a new game out, Grandpa, it's called Mine Sweeper," Don said,"It's on the PC and it's only $29.
95.
" Now while I like video games as much as the next Grandpa, my favorite is World of Warcraft.
I bought an xBox 360 and some games for it off eBay, but I really don't like the controller and I found I could play any game up to a point.
For example I thought Red Dead Redemption was cool, and it was except for...
It was cool up to the point where I had to race Bonnie across country on my trusty steed and kept falling off my horse and getting lost.
I fell off my horse and got lost so many times that I decided I had better things to do (like play World of Warcraft) and went back to my PC.
The same thing happened with Skyrim.
I ended up in a small room that seemed to have no exit.
I wandered around in the room for several days, and never found any way of getting out, so I decided I had better things to do (like play World of Warcraft) and went back to my PC.
So, my encounters with the XBox have been quite unproductive.
But I don't want to give the impression that I do nothing but play video games:I actually read a lot.
I've always read a lot since I was a kid, starting with comic books and graduating to novels, mainly science fiction and a few westerns.
While not the Great Classics, I was still expanding my imagination and increasing my vocabulary (I think).
My wife, who was raised in a different environment where nothing came in the door except Classics (including comic books which were Classics Illustrated) never saw or touched the stuff I was reading.
But at least we were both reading.
Not so my grandchildren.
"I'll tell you what, Don," I said, becoming a bit weary about the endless talk of video games.
" I'll buy you a book.
We'll go into the bookstore and you pick it out.
What kind of books do you like.
" You could see the wheels spinning in Don's brain as he tried to absorb a new and entirely foreign thought.
"Oh.
"They continued to spin.
"Well, I like a book that's humorous.
And I don't like it to drag in the middle.
" A couple of days went by, Christmas came and went, and while Don was learning the new monk class in WOW on my computer in my den Sunday afternoon, I said, "Okay, Don, it's time to get your new book.
" He gave me a look somebody encountering Judgement Day and all the sins he had committed in his life.
He mumbled an "OK" and followed me out the door.
On the way to the used bookstore (all the new ones in our town have gone out of business), the conversation went something like this: "I'm worried that if I start it I won't be able to finish it.
" "Yeah, well you agreed that if I bought it you would read it all the way through.
" Silence.
"Yeah, but some books drag in the middle and I get bored and stop reading them.
" "Yeah, but you're going to pick one out that doesn't drag in the middle.
" Silence.
"Yeah, but what if I lose it?" "You aren't going to lose it.
" Silence.
I gave him a pep talk shout, sort of the ones athletic coaches use to get their teams fired up and in a winning frame of mind.
"But your going to read it!" I shouted.
"Repeat after me, I'm going to read it.
All the way through!"As I shouted I pounded the armrest between us.
Say it with me, "I'm going to read it!" Don hesitated, then said in a small voice.
"I'm going to read it.
" "NO!"I said.
"I'M GOING TO READ IT!"I pounded the armrest.
"I'M GOING TO READ IT!" he shouted.
I pulled into a parking space in front of the bookstore and we hopped out of the car.
Well, I should say, he hopped out of the car and I struggled out accompanied by a lot of joint creakingand verbal groaning.
The sign on the door of the bookstore said: "Closed on Sundays.
"We both stared at it, speechless.
I turned to Don, observing the decided look of relief in his eyes.
"Well," I said, "we could go to the library and check a book out.
"I could see immediately that idea wasn't going to fly.
"Yeah, Don said," but what if I lose it?What ifI lose it and then you'll have to pay to replace it and then I'll owe you money?" "Yeah," I said jokingly, "you'll have to wash my car for the rest of your life.
"I immediately saw that that joke was a mistake as the anxiety in his eyes increased.
Neither one of us thought this was a very good solution and merely added agony to the whole notion of Don actually reading a book.
So we went back home.
Where Don gleefully resumed his training as WOW monk in Pandaria, having experienced merciful reprieve from the terrible task of reading a book.