I'm not going waste this space talking about dating a person who is married and living in the same house as their spouse.
You, me, and everyone knows that to do that is just folly.
There is something seriously faulty within your soul to purposely give yourself to someone who clearly can't give anything of real value back to you.
I'll let you continue to rationalize that one until you are ready to have better.
In this space, I'm going to talk about a much more slippery slope.
That is dating someone who is separated, but not divorced.
There a few reasons not to date a person who is not officially divorced.
The number one reason is that they have absolutely nothing to offer you.
They can't appreciate who you are.
They can only appreciate who you are not.
If they have been in a long-term relationship, and they haven't taken the time and space to reclaim themselves, they can only offer you half a heart, or even worst, a broken heart.
They aren't whole if they haven't made the commitment and decision to officially end what they started with someone else long ago.
It doesn't matter if they have been separated for two months or twenty years, if they haven't made the commitment to end it they have nothing of substance to offer you.
The question that you MUST ask them when they tell you that they are separated is: WHY AREN'T YOU DIVORCED? If they go into money reasons, children reasons, religious reasons, family reasons, blah, blah, blah, reasons, reasons, reasons, do yourself a favor and limit your expectations for anything long lasting and loving.
They don't have it to give.
They have reserved part of themselves for another party.
Their property belongs to the other party, their children may have to be shared with the other party, their name may be shared with other party, and their heart may likely still belong to the other party.
They have to find the space to be themselves without the other person.
Divorce is a part of that.
Even if they are in the process of divorcing, they still have a part of themselves devoted to someone else.
Albeit, just devoted to the process of releasing the other person.
Allow them to completely divorce themselves of their other life, before they enter into a life with you.
It's okay to hang out, have fun with, talk to, laugh with a person who is separated, but not divorced.
However, if you think you have found a catch in them, you certainly have not.
They aren't whole if they haven't completely closed the door to the old relationship.
I know there are some women who think catching a man who has been a husband is a good look.
They reason that he knows how to be committed yada, yada, yada.
When the pains starts to come because he can't completely commit to you, you'll wish you had never entered into such a foolish relationship.
I don't think we should be so desperate as to enter into a relationship with a person who is not completely whole and ready for love.
Dating, having fun, and hanging out is one thing, but entering into a committed relationship with the expectation of having someone who is completely into you is another thing.
You are worth so much more than to have to constantly question whether a person truly loves you or truly wants you.
You, me, and everyone knows that to do that is just folly.
There is something seriously faulty within your soul to purposely give yourself to someone who clearly can't give anything of real value back to you.
I'll let you continue to rationalize that one until you are ready to have better.
In this space, I'm going to talk about a much more slippery slope.
That is dating someone who is separated, but not divorced.
There a few reasons not to date a person who is not officially divorced.
The number one reason is that they have absolutely nothing to offer you.
They can't appreciate who you are.
They can only appreciate who you are not.
If they have been in a long-term relationship, and they haven't taken the time and space to reclaim themselves, they can only offer you half a heart, or even worst, a broken heart.
They aren't whole if they haven't made the commitment and decision to officially end what they started with someone else long ago.
It doesn't matter if they have been separated for two months or twenty years, if they haven't made the commitment to end it they have nothing of substance to offer you.
The question that you MUST ask them when they tell you that they are separated is: WHY AREN'T YOU DIVORCED? If they go into money reasons, children reasons, religious reasons, family reasons, blah, blah, blah, reasons, reasons, reasons, do yourself a favor and limit your expectations for anything long lasting and loving.
They don't have it to give.
They have reserved part of themselves for another party.
Their property belongs to the other party, their children may have to be shared with the other party, their name may be shared with other party, and their heart may likely still belong to the other party.
They have to find the space to be themselves without the other person.
Divorce is a part of that.
Even if they are in the process of divorcing, they still have a part of themselves devoted to someone else.
Albeit, just devoted to the process of releasing the other person.
Allow them to completely divorce themselves of their other life, before they enter into a life with you.
It's okay to hang out, have fun with, talk to, laugh with a person who is separated, but not divorced.
However, if you think you have found a catch in them, you certainly have not.
They aren't whole if they haven't completely closed the door to the old relationship.
I know there are some women who think catching a man who has been a husband is a good look.
They reason that he knows how to be committed yada, yada, yada.
When the pains starts to come because he can't completely commit to you, you'll wish you had never entered into such a foolish relationship.
I don't think we should be so desperate as to enter into a relationship with a person who is not completely whole and ready for love.
Dating, having fun, and hanging out is one thing, but entering into a committed relationship with the expectation of having someone who is completely into you is another thing.
You are worth so much more than to have to constantly question whether a person truly loves you or truly wants you.